10 Things To Do In Delhi When You're Off

Sit by the pool

Sat by the pool for about 4 hours yesterday. The temperature was about 32 degrees. Enjoyed dipping in the pool to keep myself cool, plus sampled a few kingfishers.

Have a Indian Massage

Everyone else had had one of these so I thought it was time I sampled a relaxing hour of utter relaxation. However the guy, yes you heard right, a guy, proceeded to bend,crack,push,beat,and pummel me for 60 minutes. That being said I would definitly recommend this to anyone. I felt totally relaxed. However you have not got be at all self-conscious as the bloke certainly touches parts that no man has touched before..Luckily the towel saved most of modesty. Thinking of Christina Hamilton ensured that I did not get 'aroused' and lost in the moment.

The Steam Room

After the massage, another good way to expel any, stress, crap from your system is to spend a good 20 mins in the Steam room. Takes your breath away for the first few minutes, but after a couple of shallow breaths it's not too bad. I'm there with my towel on, sweating like a bastard when in walks this short bald Indian guy. Quick introduction, and his towel is off and he's sat cross legged next to me. Hmmm had a chat for a while and made my excuses.

The Hotel Bar

Feeling like I'd had the best nights sleep in ages, I relaxed in the hotel bar for a while. The Bar man Parjat (really nice guy) got my usual and I just watched the afternoon go by. The music was quitre a weird selection for a five star in Hotel. It was Rammstein. Very heavy German rock music. Apparently Parjat is really into that sort of music and we chatted for a whilse about Glastonbury. However I think we got lost in translation for a bit.

Chill in the room

Went back to my room for a couple of hours. Watched some some TV and did a crossword. Thanks Ali for the letter and picture of the baby. Can't believe you're gonna be having a baby in 3 months...Cool.

Room Service

This is the part of the hotel that I love. Ring through straight away and it's "Hello Mr Jones. What would you like" I got a gorgeous sandwich and another Kingfisher..Oh yeah did I tell you I like the odd lager or two.

The toilet

As you all know I'm one for chatting about the diversity of what happens when I'm on the toilet. Well in Delhi it's like a kinder egg. You never know what's gonna come out!!!! However I've been on the old Brown River for the past couple of days and was pleasantly surprised by what i would consider a regular movement

The wind up continues

Rob has come up with a new wind up for Pete & Alex. We've told the lads that the word 'Gelam' is used as a standard greeting, used for anything from hello,goodbye,seya later etc etc. However in actual fact it means 'I've Messed myself'...The looks they get off the doormen is excellent.

The Kebab Factory

Got a call from Phil and we were being taken out for a meal at the Kebab Factory. They bascially serve you up loads of meat including, prawns, lamb, fish, beef, Shami kebabs, and for the first time Goat...Quite rich and I was well and truely stuffed. The toilet may have brown intermittent showers today....

Cards at Andi's

Round the night off with a card session at Andi's. Me,Pete,Alex & Andi play gin for 100 rupees each. However there is a points sytem to it, and turns what is normally a boring game into one that requires a lot more thought..Alex however is the worst player I have ever seen.One of his classic is to call the 'wild' card the magic one. From this he's got the nickname 'Mr Frodo'. Pete the jammy bastard won on the last hand...Damn

Excellent day and shows that days off are what you make them..Good Karma and Gelam my friends. Gelam